The Feeling Factory !

I look outside the window and see lush green grove of tall mango trees.Its like a musical orchestra where sound made by birds,squirrels,cats and rats give a start to a rainy day. As we wait for the sun to come it reminds me of the cursings my friends and I use to give in summer for scotchy heat and making difficult for us to survive .But, as said ‘absence make you grow fonder’.It really makes me miss the sun !

Coming out in the balcony gives me cold breeze on my face, and make moment light.Green is hence the colour of peace. Green Peace \m/. As I stand and enjoy in my balcony I get all the green sustainable ideas and then I realize how lucky I am to live in a green and clean environment.This gives me a ticker to work with a organization that take care of the environment externally and internally. When on job search most of your thoughts are job-driven!

Watery blue sky up above me which gradually looks like bright white.Gives a perfect rainbow of Green and White colour.Playing with colours I think is the best things after photography to express your emotions. I feel like clicking now and capturing all the thoughts but I am in short of a good digi cam.Plan to buy a Nikon D 90 once my job is there.Wish I had one now , coz now I have ample to time to experiment and learn.

The rain starts and with a wish to a cup of Capachhino and a novel to read I move into the room and proceed to my main door.I take my rolling chair that dad got me last month and pull it outside to sit and enjoy the rain with the novel only.Reading is the best therapy to happiness or to extend happiness. As I read, I hear voice of a flute like voice from the plants by the rolling chair. I struggle to find out what it is.It shows me a baby bird ..which looks incredibly cute and thrilled or shocked to see me. Fascinated with the view I realize she needs help.As I try and get the things to help the baby bird my mom inquires and share a fact ,if a human touches a bird then the mother of that bird kill the child herself.This is not what I want !! So, I look for a way out and finally get papers, a piece of bread for her to eat and a box where she can live comfortably.

The baby bird struggles to walk and I see she has a hurt feet and its making very difficult for her.My excitement rises what the next move would be? Then I remember a Khushwant Singh story where Grandma use to sit in the balcony and wait for the birds to come and feed them. After a time, grandma dies and bird keep coming. The story was something like this. Literature is actually the best thing that gives voices to human feelings.

My view got interrupted as I had to take my sis and drop her and some house chores my mom assingned.When I came back home, the baby bird was missing and it troubled me but it did taught me a lesson or I should say I got a very short slide show of a human struggle in life. Sometimes in life realization of feelings make u realize what u should do next in life! This is feeling factory ! J

Girl Power Quotes

I love quotes and follow them very generously ! I like them a lot and they make me feel great when I am low and I think I should be sharing this with all my readers and at least for girls! Girls get emotionally too struck..this is what I think but you know what a simple thought can help you come out of any problem! So, here's all for u :)

#To make your attitude grow stronger girls !

1. 'I don't have attitude problem ,you have perception problem.'

2. 'Don't regret doing things, regret being caught.'

3. 'Sugar and Spice and Everything nice but if you mess with me better think twice.'

4. 'The only way to get rid of a temptation is to yield to it.'

5. 'When someone steels your man,there is no better revenge than letting her keep him.'

#To give you the motivation to move on !

1. 'If you don't pull yourself out of the slump,no-one will.'

2. 'All that matters in life is Love and Work.'

3. 'First step to getting over someone is not to think of that person at all. If you can't, don't bother trying.'

4. 'Never regret something that made you smile!'

5. ' If you love me, let me know. If not, please gently let me go.'

6.'' Ladies.. always remember: "You should have a guy that makes you feel happier, not upset!"

7. 'I’m sincere to you, doesn’t mean I must sacrifice every single thing in my life for you.'

8. 'Everything we think, everything we're feeling, is creating our future. '

9. 'Moving on might hurts. But.. "Being stuck is even worse!" Let's go! '

10. 'Sometimes crying is the only thing that helps, all you have to do is let go'

11. ' Don't keep running back to the one person that you need to walk away from. '

12. 'Some ppl make ur life better just by walking into it. Others make ur life better by walking out of it'

13.' If someone you love hurts you cry a river, build a bridge, and get over it'

14. 'Never let your tears and sensitivity blind you. If someone hurt you, they showed you who they are. Move on, stay strong!'

# To make you learn about what men are!?

1.'The only guy you need in your life is the one that proves that he needs you in his.'

2.'Men are cruel but man is kind.'

3. 'Men are honest liars.'

4.'Men play the game; women know the score.'

5. 'Signs u're falling in love: You'll read his texts over and over again.'

6. 'There are 2 words guys hate: Don't and Stop. Unless, those words are spelled together'

Ok more to come !!! Till then keep it up n have fun !!

Want to break free...

I am really pissed off with my reality , my behavior and with my stupid carefree ways that I use for most important things in life. I feel like a jackass!

I ask myself a question, Why am I living this plastic life? Why I am not sure of what I am?! Why I am not working towards a common goal ,like all? Do I even aspire to do anything in life? Or I just want to act a thing for a few days , live it , enjoy it and move on !?

I want to break free.. I want to have my aim \aspiration\goal\mission so that I work towards it and later enjoy the sense of achievement !

I wanted to be so many things, as per the situations and the situations only made me change my mind and do what I was shown way for ..and I shamefully called it Destiny ! As far as I remember, the thing that became my turning point was NLIU Law entrance. It made me realise many things in life. But, am totally unsatisfied with my carerr graph the next year. I should have tried in law and not in MBA. The bottom line is , I want to pursue MY GOAL. I want to live the feeling of achivement ..

Its my final year of MBA only 6 months to wind up the course..and if you ask me what big thing I did in this course? Then , I have a shameful bow head in front of you.I don't want to be called useless,stupid,average female ! I want to break free my image...I want to achieve something for myself..I want to cry for my happiness...I want a day ..

And, for last 6 months of my academic life..I am going to give up everything that is important to me..to get THE MOST IMPORTANT in life.. I want to break free the average image..God help me fight this war for myself ,many of my debts will be paid..

Pantry Time....sshh

Its been a month now that I am in NCR ,and been regular to office except one day bunk. I believe its kool to go to office than sitting at home in a city like Delhi and doing nothing. If I wanted to just rest and spend time sleeping, I wud have got this very very easily in Bhopal ,at my home. But, I wanted to live it up and learn something that will help me nourish and grow for future or immediate future life.And, I can say I took a right decision to come here and I am grateful to my parents that they allowed me , to live my dreams .Thanks a zillion mum-dad! Love u!

Now, am understanding everything,all basics of life ,why my parents use to stop me for things. I get all my answers here.B'coz I try things here in my way ,more or less, and the estimated result or a result I could not even think of. Each day is a learning experience professionally and personally.

Wooah..I moving away from Pantry! Ok. leme come back. So, my office timmings are at a stretch from 9AM to 6PM and I am not at all use to it. Though , now I am !Often , it gets boring to work and work.

But, thankfully I am blessed with good interns in my office. We all are girls.Recently , a new intern has joined us ,named Ankur Garg.He sits in my cubicle only and I bully him,he even admitted.LoL. So, Anu-Nisha-Me we all three go for several coffee and idle breaks. These days breaks go for a lil longer than usual. We only get 30 mins lunch, which is unfair yar , come on .

I drink only coldrink and eat Milk Powder and Monaco Biscuit, this is what I like in the Pantry. Nisha is a biscuit and coffee freak.And, Anu she can be a coffee drinker, a tea drinker ,a lemon tea drinker and coldrink of course. Our Chandan bhaiya serves us and he gets free of cost, without any hidden tax ,our GTalk!

We girls talk random in pantry ,its like a beauty saloon where several girls stuck up and they have nothing but they open all their sorrows,happiness,plans, views et al. We generaly talk about nisha's and anu's bf. As I am single , they explore chances for me. I crack most of the jokes on them, their bf and on myself of course. We solve probs , we gossip about office about our boss,about any new hunk in the office, if any lucky day is there!

Also, we talk a lot of weekends plans but can finalise only a few. I tell u couples Vs. Single is difficult. Now,none of my frnds are single ,except me of course.And, tell u what I am happy go lucky single! I love it and at times my frnds envy my singledom :P haha!;)

One such case is, today we all were discussing about Salsa dance. I have a huge desire to learn Salsa. I love the formation and the music and the sincerity and fun ,the dance carries.In Bhopal, also I asked my dad a few times to learn it , but he never agreed. Some days back I asked Tauji ,he too denied .Today , I thought R.D would lend a suggestion , but he too denied and made me do Salsa with him in the car!

Later, I discussed with khokho, he too was not ready with idea of Salsa and closed it very lightely. Then , in pantry we started this discussion. And, anu, nisha bot had desire to learn it. I got excited and was damn ready to join it right now , right here.

But, without twist no story is complete.Anu, started to runaway saying, his bf won't like it,if she's learning Salsa with some other guy.Nisha,seldomly said the same and I had no restrictions other than family ,which is huge! But, I want to learn Salsa, though I will skip the steps which are very very intimate ; a dance is a dance ,its formation and moves are important ,though Salsa is a romantic and a intimate dance.

We packed up the discussion, playing my fav song by Akon- I wanna Love u , what a song ! Every girl like it and seriously I can dance with a chair in this song :P. Akon rox! But, will I ever learn Salsa :( kya hu#$y ke sath sikhne ka wait karna padega :(((

Sock it ,Saket!

I am happy that my sis aki , read my post and she reacted above expectations,though on phone she was loud! But, I like it here what she scribbled , that may also be her promotion trick for her new -nut-much-hyped blog!! hehe.love u babes :)



Hmm..this saturday I had many plans lined up and with different kinda persons. I had actualy four groups to hang out with out of which none were confirmed cent % ,and suriety was anyone will at least accompany me.



The story begins ... my cousin Appu was coming down from U.K this sat and his parents came Delhi to recieve him.And, I was suppose to go along with them to recieve him from the airport but I knew how boring and furious it would be. So, I had all reasons to convince myself n others that I am not going to the airport with others.



I pushed off at office time and Anu ,intern with me office .We had plans to meet up and go around.This is what I was infromed. I called Anu , to know about the plan and she very desperatly wanted me to with her. She called me at Sec-37 , Noida , where she lives. She mite have called me 5-6 times in 10 mins of drive , till I reached there. I had no clue what's on her mind. Though I knew , we may go to Gurgoan (ggn ).



I reached and she declared we are off to Saket -Select City Mall.We took an auto to Saket and it charged us very minimal ,and she offered to sponsor it. It was all perfect , until she tell me ,that she is going for a blind date! And, she wud be away for an hour or so and will be bck soon. I so very much wanted to bang her.



But, u can't stop a desperate human!; What is destined to happen will happen! We reached Mall before all shops were open. I kept telling Anu,to come back in an hour and everytime she pushed that she wud not make late than 2 hours.



And, guess what ? She didnt turn up the entire day! Don't know ,what guys do that girls stick to them and don't care about anything in the world! Cheat-Cheetos! I was apparently alone , spending time in the Malls. Select Mall was covered ,did a bit of shopping liked a top in Pramod, was actually good but did'nt had enough cash that time.



Later, there was some movie shooting going on MGF Mall , went there. It was very dull. Was exhibited with Spas and Japnese Cuisine , saw helluva Geishas here in India!



I had to get a hair cut , was at Javed Habibs Saloon. Met Javed ,he suggested a few. But, I did'nt quiet like it. So , came back. Khokho ,is incidently near by where I live , but he's hardly ready to spend to time with his sis, sadly! Though, he offered me to join him with his most dangerous frnd GG. How obvious , it was for him, that I'll refuse, and he'll rescue! Ye he did rescue!



At , around 2 I got a call from Tauji , as to when I am coming back. I had no clue and no way to tell them I am at Saket.So, I did here n there.And, planned to move alone.



I was ready to pay for the autorickshaw, but trust me they charged a lot , infact in that fair I could hve travelled to Agra! They were charging me Rs.450 onse side fair from Saket to 37 Sec. And, I came to Saket in morning @ Rs. 110. What a difference! huh



After shocks and cribbs and I boarded a bus till Mother Dairy and afetr seating I was reflecting over the day , how I was used as a prop , how my ppl do with me, how khokho has become ! n bla bla but I am gutsy so took lessons and moved on to enjoy this unexpected travel all the way to Noida.



I got down after an hour,reached Mother Dairy. Then ,some gentleman suggested me to take a bus. I was missing my sat Metro ! :( They are so kool to travel and fast as well! Next sat, pakka metro! By the then I reached home , was very tired and pissed off wiht anu n khokho n others but I still had expectations at home , they wud anyways take me around till C.P , at least.



To my surprise appu n R.D were driving away to pick me from office and they were quiet astonished how I came.But, I could only smile infront of them. I reached upstairs had my favourite Chicken Curry and Roasted Chicken. And, I was asked to sleep , I heard them this time , because I was tired !



Whole day ,passed by like this . In eve , there was a dinner at somebody's place ,where we went yesterday . So, I again had no wish to go. I had to refuse. Appu ,got some movies from U.K , so spent watching them in the verandah , where cool breeze made me feel good. At , 10 PM , everybody came back and I got down to see off appu ,uncle-aunty who were headed back to home tonight at 11:30 PM.



R.D again , gave some silly reason ; like we will get late , u r in shorts I won't take u out like this bla bla, though many protested him ,but actually the luggage took my space :( And, I was again compelled to stay back home ,on sat :(( Hate it ,Puke puke.



While I was saying them bye, a dog came and started licking my hand , it was so unexpected and weird for me that I first time in my life I used F word :( and that too infront of my elders and brothers.



I was completely embarassed and could'nt bve myself , how did I say it ! Later , I looked down hiding away and Appu caught y eyes and gave a cunning smile



And, this is how the day caed sat, came to its end.

Crush on Delhi...

I preety much like this popular Book title Crush On Delhi ,these days. Well, I even mean it, I also 've a crush on delhi! Actually, NCR! I have my escapades here,everyday. But, time constraints are very much there.Still, I manage to make it to the most and enjoy the heat,zest for life, feel the passion of life, discover new dreams n desires and so much into it, that no trouble or interupption can stop the traveling endeavour..

Isn't it Wow!?! Well, I like /love traveling . I've been challenged by near and dear ones to travel alone but don't they know I can do it , in fact I do that quiet often! Its very sad to admit , but my ppl don't get excited for traveling or make plans that excite me for traveling and trust me that piss me off big time! I feel like running off to the Indus Civilization, at least there I can explore somemore things and later it'll be embossed, in golden words , in the history books! :P

Anyways, I jus pray the guy I marry is a traveling freak! Is Vasco-Da-Gama alive!? He will only come with me to voyages,of course with good amount of experince :) Yeah ,Vasco? :P

Coming to the topic of the day. On sat, I wanted to travel around and my Tauji n R.D can no bear my passion for traveling . They don't like it at all. And, when they don't like this , I don't like anything to like! Much-aA Chaos! It was sat and all , a weekend when every couple want to hang out and every single approaches for a date and every boss clears up with pending meeting of the week and every brother gives u excuses ,to make his weekend rosy with his gf. So, I was a lonely traveler.But, I did'nt turn back and go home.

I reached the bus stop at 10 Am and the first bus that I saw , I hopped into it. I thought , goign to metro will make my plan much better and give me good options to travel around. I
ve already had lot of C.P , which is the safest and kool place in Delhi one can go. I took a metro feeder bus to Yamuna Bank , near by metro station but I mistakenly got down at Shastri Park Metro , which is very far off and it near by JNU . It took me 1.5 hours to reach ad that day I was feeling ill.

I'd to visit JNU but there was no direct public transport service to reach there , I wud have to change buses 2-3 times. And, it was risky. I called khokho and told him about it , he hads no solution and asked to go back home. Totaly unacceptable opinion. Later, I called Kanika she's a gr8 pal in Delhi. We had plasn to meet but her classes were there,which are only on weekends , so she very kindly asked me to get back home safely and we will make plans this upcoming week. Going back home? I am not doing it. Have come so far, taking pains to enjoy my journey ,I thought. After 20 mins, I asked girl in the metro ticket counter to tell me route to Chandani Chowk.

I tell u what, every morning Dilli-6 title song comes and it excites me from top to bottom and I observed very keenly the red fort and chandni chowk area in the music video. I havn't seen the movie. But, in childhood , when I was 10 or 11 years we visited Red Fort and Chandni Chowk Street. I don't remember anything from that trip.So, it was a good idea to visit it again and alone to explore more of it.

Now, there's a catch .Station like Shastri Park,Yamuna Bank dosent have direct metro to Chandni Chowk Metro .So, one has to go till Kashmiri Gate and then again take a metro to Chandni Chowk. I did'nt quiet understood the concept initially but after going to Kashmiri gate 4 times in a day , I understood what a Yellow line is and what Red Line is!

I reached Kashmiri Gate, it was one station from Shastri Park Metro ,then took an underground metro from Kashmiri Gate to Chandani Chowk. On reaching Chandni Chowk , I saw a huge crowd using metro and its very useful for Delhi Junta-very kool and convenient to travel.But, at times yellow -red line sucks!

Chandni Chowk isn't a safe place, and u've to takecare of ur stuff and of urself very much. Anything is possible there. I met two ladies on the way who came with me , to do shopping from there. They had some marriage at home.But,we departed soon coz I was not in a mood of shopping from there. They guided me way to Red Fort ,Market and a famous Gurudwara,there.

I covered all three, very well and enjoyed it. Trust me Chandni Chowk is not a place for anyone who dosen't know to bargain. You will entire life laugh at urself for paying so much and not bargaining it! Its warning. I had my fun in Chandni Chowk but that was not enough to satisfy.So, I got back to C.C Metro and found the nearest place to roam about and Rohini came out to be the only option.

Rohini is East and West.Rohini West has better stuff to look upon. I was in the misconception I'll get direct metro to Rohini but yes I was wrong, again I will have to change metro from Kashmiri Gate. So, I took a full ticket to Rohini. Got down at Kashmiri Gate (K.G) and fastly boarded the Rohini Metro.

Met a school girl in the metro , who was returning hom after giving her medical entrance exam . Her name was Timsy- a greek princess. She was going to Rithala. I asked her about Rohini , what malls and all are there and she decalred it has nothing but apartments, it'll be best if I got to Rithala instead. I took a snap decision and decided but issue was my ticket .She even had a solution for this; if at all we reach a station less than our ticket price , we can refill it and take exit .It has no issue.

So, I had to pay Rs.3 extra and I got down at Rithala, we took a Riksha togther and Timsy dropped me to Metro Walk .On the other side it has got an amazing Adventure Park , but u need company for that and if u r traveling alone its like curse :( I missed khokho n frnds there .Wish they were there.

Metro Walk was boring it has same stuff and added thingie was there was no shade ,its like a street where u can walk! duh! But, if one goes in group of frnds or with family , its a treat. To me it wasn't. After spending 2-3 hours there I was hungary and went to Mc D .Had the regular junk and msgd khokho if he's free. I somehow was feeling very bad and wanted to meet bhai.But, he was not free and the conversation went cruel coz of my demand..

I took a metro to K.G again from Rithala.Then got the new shock of the day , there's no direct metro to Yamuna bank from K.G . To reach Yamuna bank , I will have to go Rajeev Chowk Metro . Trust me , it was stupid. I had no options ,I wanted to be safe and this was the convenient option I 'd.

I took a direct ticket to Yamuna Bank from K.G. Boarded a metro for Rajeev Chowk from K.G. Reached Rajeen Chowk. Inquired the platform no. for Yamuna Bank Metro. Boarded the Y.B Metro and finaly phew reached there.Thankfully, coming out I got the Metro Bus feeder to my home and I reached home.

This sounds a bit complicated but I am quiet proud of myself for experiencing this and understanding more about life, ppl and traveling. I enjoyed it. But, an emotional pain was there..crush in Delhi! Get the gap? :P

meri wali pepsi!!

Will always miss chachi....

Reaching Delhi and living here was not difficult till I got the news of Chachi 's death. It was my first day at office ie. 12th May 2009 and whole day I was sitting and was talking to seniors till my lappy was to be alloted.I was introduced to my Project guide and Boss Mr.Atul Jain , Head fin Corp. This man is amazing , he's very sincere and particular about his and inspires me a lot.

Then I was asked by guide to co-ordinate with his assistant .Also, in my next cabin sits Project Head Finance -Sanjay Sir, he's a very good friend now and helped me a lot As my guide's assistant was about to give me my assingment,R.D gave me a call . I called him back and he said , " chachi ki death ho gayi " I was shocked could'nt blve the news and started crying , did'nt knew to whom should i go and cry with .First day of office I heardly got to know ppl there.I went to guide and asked if I can go , told him the reason and he gave me an off.

Coming out of the office , near guard office I could'nt stop myself and started crying , called up khokho then , he made me a bit relax and was informing tinu n parents. I had no clue about public transport in Delhi Noida . I somehow managed ,and where I live from there I've change to bus .In second bus , somebody guided me wrong and I had to step down at wrong station. But I managed. Reached home.

Later. called dad , asked him why he did'nt tell me and all cried a lot...I met chachi..before coming for interns...I went to her place ,she made me eat the cake prepared by her and I cooked her baked Garlic Bread , she liked it a lot. She gave me money to have fun and...she cried when I was leaving.....I will always miss u chachi.... and I will always do my best to help chotu with life ... Chotu is my cousin , whose mom was my chachi... my chacha , his father expired 10 years back , and his real sister expired 14 years back..he's just a 21 year old guy. Now, who is alone..in this world.....but I am always with him .

The second day of office , I had no wish to go, but due to tauji n parents forced me so I went to office. I did some work and took a half day ,was not at all feeling good and wanted a change so I went alone and took a bus to Indraprasth and thought will ride in Metro and will come back but fortunatly I met some great girls in the bus who helped me figure out things and asked to stepdown at C.P .It take 1.5 hrs from the place I live ,to reach there. I was scared , had a fear but I was confident I will reach. I got down near Stateman Building and saw what a great place C.P was... When I went to Mumbai this year , I was staying at South Mumbai and that became my dream place to work at , but after seeing C.P , this even sounds to be great.

Fortunately, I saw Oxford BookHouse there books being my weakness I thought I'll pass on my time . But, I missed the door and moved forward in the street. I took a turn near the subway of DBS bank and met a girl called Riya. I inquired from her the places I can visit and she asked me if i wud like to join her, as she is going that way , I was more than happy to accompany her and we became best of frnds , we were together for 4-5 hours had complete fun of C.P Circle went to all luxury class showrooms and and all eatery place , Mc D being my fav , we had ourlunch there and as this visit was unplanned I had to get bck hom by 6:30 pm .

Riya took me to her office ,she's based outta Chandigarh lives in dwarka with her parents. Later se dropped to C.P Metro Station and came along to see if I safely reach there. It was first time I was travelling in Metro and trust me it was awesome !

I took a ticket for Indraprasth and got down there.But, that was a wrong choice. I had to change 2 buses to reach home. Had I got down at Yamuna Bank , I could have got a direct bus feeder to my place.

But, this trip was great and I felt good . By the then my new Airtel Stuck number also got activated after 3 days of application n procedures! Huh

Going away from home.....

ok am EXCITED!!! and i have no clue how to start or end it but i do know ,now am in very much spunk and spark!

Its my 3rd Day in NCR. On 11th May 2009 I reached here with my 'Tauji' coz my dad cancelled his ticket in last moment due to the exurtion he will have and also coz one of our family member was admitted in hospital. I was hell annoyed coz of this and 4 times me was my khokho annoyed!

I have to admit , this is my first ever stay alone outside, the prelims we can say to IIT-KGP visit ,where i had Su and her Grandpa , which is equal to family
,and that trip was just for a week!

And, this one is for 6 weeks! i.e 1. Months! Hard for me, but all frnds, relatives, well wishers were happy that finally i'll be seing e real world! And, every minute that I spent here , I remember the wisdom my frnds gave . Thanks to all of u :) A special mention to Randip Sir aka Ricky ,my khokho is forever there and my frnds Pagare,Sikander n my sis Tinu , my mum-dad!

AS I reached station , I realized am actually leaving for interns to Delhi! My mum pushed dad to hug me...as he hugged me I got to stick to him for 15 mins and was crying !! Somewhere, I was happy that no distance or difference is there between dad n me.I love that moment and will always thank my mum for making that happen`:)

Now ,if I cry , my sis , my mum n on that even my Tauji cried with whom I was going! So, call it love of the family! After boarding the train, I msgd my dad to thank him ,to let me go and show trust in me.Love u dad!!

Also, in the main Bhopal Junction Ricky met me with Neetu ji , which was a great meeting both of them n they both were looking great together!!! Wish them luck for life :)

I willkeep posting about my 6 weeks interns here in Delhi . Just keep looking for it and miss u all , do put up ur comments here coz Orkut is blocked in my office :( n i used all hit n trial nothing helps!

love vj

Solid Ground....

I take the lines from the song of Marit Larsen - 'Solid Ground'..

Cannot fall, never do regret Know just what is being said Know the risk you take Keep your head above it all Sure you can fall But not now you gotta prove Something new, being you, being you Can't feel, keep from asking why Be the strongest at goodbyes Know your place in life Now expand your wings and fly It reaches high but not, Enough you seem to me So incomplete, swept off your feet And let me tell you they will always pull you down Before you know it they will take your smile and push you around They will fight and struggle To blur and trouble Your sense of solid ground Cannot know, lose your self-control Be and angel over all Know your secret way Laugh at everything they say Will you remain the same? And now you dare not see What's letting go Inside of me,is it me? And they will always… Keep your head above it all, sure you can fall But not now you gotta prove And they will always pull you down Before you know it they will take your smile and push you around They will haunt your every dream They will make you come undone at the seams And they will fight and struggle To blur and trouble Your sense of solid ground? Keep your head above it all Sure you can fall But not now you gotta prove

Life is something where phases hault for a moment or two...and when u start getting use to it...it kick off badly...the ability to manage this particular situation is a best solution to life...but to those who are emotional folks like me...suffer most!

Tears will only make u reflect past and make u regret..instead of this try to clear the mess and move ,chase ,run for urself .Absorb ur pains ,fears so that u r not dependent on anybody.

Changed Voice..

Looking outside my room's window I see a twinkling star in darkness , which reminds me of positiveness in life. I never saw anything so beautiful , that was just so visible from my home ! I admire this.

When I get up early morning , these days , my thoughts are very neutral. As in, they don't pull me towards anything ; probably the passion is missing , also the day gives me headache , this actually sounds weird even to me ! I drag ,I drag and I drag.

By the time ,noon takes it turns I surely have had one or two arguments. Which makes me feel hostile, a bit gloomy , sense of reconciling everything and then next thing that comes to my mind is sleep or go out for traveling ! I may, do any, depends on mood and situations after arguments!

I seriously, miss my reading :( , miss my tving , miss my chit-chatting on phone/net ,miss my music !! But, I just don't feel like doing anything, the vary feeling irritates me , annoys me , pesters me , after all , why I'll do past-time things when for the moment, they are not so favorite, to do ! Feels soooooo...bad and sad saying this now :((

Then , by eve I try to catch up something good ,which lets me at least count this day to be lived. So, I go online and look for things that I should be doing etc . Forgot to mention , now even orkut sucks biig time ! In fact , all networking sites or anything of that sort!

Nothing , much is achieved even by that. Then , I get a strong urge to go and play some sports , something like squash ,badminton or basketball or even running on the athletic tracks. I always found , running and playing ,is a good mental exercise ,which broadens your thinking and calm you down ,so that you can think ,what you actually want to and you get a sense of positiveness and No Confusion ! [Courtesy : Bingo Chips !] But, the big dope here is 'Permission' . Sadly, due to rules as set by my Daddy Dear I can't step out after 6 PM ..Oh yes laugh it off !! Who cares ! grrr

By night, I get so humiliated by rules, laws and regulations and the grilling hot sentences , that I have no more urge to live the day ...I just fall aback on my bed ,taking my pillow and with my vibrating cell phone.

One good thing , that happens in all day long is taking to my bhai ..within a flash of time he makes me experience things which I think ,I'd have never known or faced .This man is a genius ! He can fix problems like that, he can give u snapshot of everything ,that is in this world and his emotional level is also very very good . He does knock me down but he's a real sweetheart.[Any girls ,interested in him ,please contact me :P lol ] Ayush bhai ,love ya lots ! Thanks a lot for making things easier for me ! May god bless always.

And , with all this the day end and starts again...

Btw, the reason I wrote this blog post is only because of that 'twinkling' star by my window , which gave me positiveness and the boost to write a new year post ! :) I've been thinking to give my readers a surprise with something new ..I hope you all like it ! Do comments folks ;)

Happy New year ! :P

Life moves on...

'Life moves on' .....

I never believed in this phrase truly..it was moreover a filmy phrase for me.U hear and u flush it out. But, quiet recently, this has been apt in my life.The reason I accepted this crude fact ,is because of some of the most beautiful people I met in my life and they left .And, they retorted like this ' Life moves on..and then it becomes easy to live it up'

I have been hurt a lot but I wanted to recuperate each time this happened ,to know the next phase of this hurt ,in my life. I wanted to know myself. Today , I can say .I love my silence. I explore myself and its amazing to know your self each day a new thing about you , of course some good people in ur life show u that path.All thanks to them .

After every death, there is a birth .Likewise, after every mournful day ,there is a day of happiness when you even enjoy your remembering about your sorrows..and thus life moves on...

So , silly is life,where will I reach.But, I respect this life. I am positive ,it just I've more hunger to live it in a productive way...doing all a human can do!

My FishBowl

My Fish Bowl

I am a non-veggie.But, I never tried eating sea food.Ye , not even fishes! There is a reason to it,in childhood my paternal aunt was very keen to make me taste her delicious fish curries. She did convinced me for her Chicken Curry and I loved it.But, with fish curry I really could not make up mind.Because ,I saw a blooded fish in my maid's hand and I got scared! That's my childhood story.

Later, many of my relatives called me for fish parties and were very insistent to make me eat fish.But, I always ran away.Yes, I ran away! They were amazed to find a non-veggie like me who likes chicken and meat but not a fish ! Even aphorisms like 'A fish makes your mind sharp' were made often and now to inspire me for eating it . The bottom line is, I never considered eating fish or for that matter sea food in my life.Though, Roadies did inspire me sometime back, but that's worth it, isn't?

Coming to my new hobby or introducing my new pets. I have got fish(s) as my new pet. I wanted to keep them ,though the vary idea of changing the water of the fishbowl ,every week ,did stress me ,but after one trial I believed I would do it.

Keeping fish in a fish bowl is probably the simplest way you could keep a pet fish in your house. As its simplest form, all you would need is the bowl, fish, water, and food. For the right conditions and right fish, life in a fish bowl isn't terrible. It isn't terribly exciting either!

The history of keeping fish for either food or as pets goes back at least 4,000 years. The Chinese have a long history of keeping fish inside in containers. Supposedly Madame Dubarry, Mistress to King Louis XV invented the glass fish bowl sometime in the mid 18th century.

My mom, never agrees upon any pets .I love dogs and she even discards that :( She also have a logical reason to this, as in who would take care of our pets when we go on tours or for outings.The result would be, they'd die !And, at no cost I would want that to happen. I do connect with pets :) And, with dogs I love talking to them , playing with them, cuddling them and everything .I simply, love dogs .Can even make voices like them,that of a puppy .Hehe

Back to fishes ,guys ! I've got 5 fishes and 2 fish bowls.The golden fish is named Meethi. The others are named by my sis and I really don't understand why she kept so difficult names for the pets ! I won't name them, coz I don't remember the names ! Also, as she says there is one male fish ,who is every time dominated by other female fishes.So, we truly admire chotu,yea that's the name of this black-male-fish. They are cute. The best thing is ,watch them eating there most awaited fish-food ,which I daily do.Its my duty,coz I get them at home !


In idleness , I gaze at them,smile at them,mull at their life.It relaxes me.I feel good.Also. gradually my mom started liking them and declared we would keep fishes and buy them new bowl and she was very happy with it. Every relative, friend,neighbor,stranger that come to our place was amazed to see them and was aspired to keep fishes at their home ,as well.This was good.My home , was a live PlayStation !

Today, in the morning I felt like changing the water of fish bowl,which is very delicate and big to handle.I was preety confident ,I'd be able to replace the fishes and change the water, which got very dirty. As I took them ,and handing carefully to the tap.The fish bowl ,got broken up into pieces and the fishes , they were dying out of water !! I was alarmed, panic,nervous,mournful.I realized, I love them now ! And, can't see them dying ! I screamed ,call my sis ,she just woke up with my scream and tried her best to put back the dying fishes back in the water. Fortunately ,mom was not at home. Otherwise, things would have been difficult. I swear.

Somehow, the fishes were transfered to a bucket and I cleared up the mess and the broken bowl. I was mournful.And, my heart beats were high .Again and again there was a flash of dying fishes in my eyes.I was sooooo sad and depressed. Later, I just went back to the tap and saw ,one fish out of the bucket ,she was dying. I again screamed and this time picked her to put back to the bucket.I guess ,she jumped out of the bucket.

Fastly,I got the new Fish Bowl from a friend. Put the fishes,back in the new bucket.My sis was my moral support and she played a spartan ,in here ! And, gave me lots of fundas early morning !

My mom, did got the info and she was disappointed with me and wanted me to give away the fishes.As of now, the fishes are safe , mom is cool headed but I am a bit panic. I never want them to die or go away.I love them .

From Nail Bitting to Drooling,is M.B.A!

I am happy to share this news with my blog buddies ,that finally I've taken my admission in M.B.A and am off to a professional life.I don't know, how many changes I'll bring in myself, in the two years of this course.But, surely I'll try and keep my real self alive!

To the addition, I'd seen many people who completely have changed ,esp. after doing M.B.A and they became very crisp and selective to the core. This course does make you like this. Precisely, that's the need of the hour. Some three years back , I met somebody who was pursuing an M.B.A from a prestigious institution. This fellow was an eye-opening experience to me.I saw him growing, in the two years of M.B.A . How, he attained everything with fine perfection.I think , I was actually stumped ! But, he could never convince me for M.B.A.To the contrary,he never wanted to! I never saw him taking this course as a burden, he enjoyed every single moment to it and yes he eventually was a true charmer. Now, I understand how he was so dexterous ! Later, when he got done with his placements (of course a biig fat salary !) .He joined the same corporate life where nothing is fun all is (mind)game !

I saw a drastic change in him.He hardly use to crack a joke or throw smileys! Earlier he was so flexible and ultra-cool.A sportive guy , who was always interested in rarest of the rare things and there was no partiality,in his passion for things.But,when in job he became just the opposite. An anti-social parasite. A hot headed pig! No-jokes-territory was his all time location. And, his humor got worse.I try and ask him out the reason for this abrupt change and he just answered ,'Its work..work.. work!'. I heartily felt bad for him and never wanted to loose my real self , like he did in the burden of work.There were several other things,which I avoid to mention here.

Many a times , I contradicted him and got the ball in my court that life after college is rock boat but you can be happy ! He also stopped being a benefactor! [:P] No blandishment,intended !But, he was one stubborn guy I never wanna meet anybody like that,again! I retorted , and took a pledge sort of, that I wouldn't change after M.B.A ,like this! I doubt, a bit now.

Reason to the motion, its just four days of my M.B.A college and things have taken a fast track , where I've no time for anything that's not of any relevance. Its hard to adjust ,after four years in co-ed after three years of strict feminism and womanhood , how can I give the trade to bandits(guys) I've solemnized to shoot at sight ! Also, 9 to 5 classes schedule will take time to bury the hatchet .But, classes are fun.I enjoy them , and they satisfy me more or less. I always wanted a practical approach to my studies, no mugging for me! The vary thing annoys me, from top to bottom.

I love presentations, projects, communication, tasks, cross-counters , am enjoying it all !What piss me off , is the inability to receive the gestures,dialects,attitude of extra-punk people ie. of the bandits! I mean, there were things which my friends use to say and I've reacted so badly,that they felt sorry for doing it. But, now I have to gladly bear all this! I feel,I did injustice to me friends. I am sorry. But, that's the way I am. You get the pun? No vampire,bites plz!

At this moment , I feel like saying ,I am an introvert! No worries, I'll soon have to change otherwise journey won't be smooth and enjoyable. The past repents all , you see. And, you understand the worth of each moment in life.Thanks , to that mind set , that made me drop a year. I,respect my life now.

I hope, my dear readers will enjoy this blog now..may be I was boring before ! Also, I am being ragged and forced to do insensible things :( I hate it and thats the course of this professionalism ,from nail biting to drooling !?! ;) :P :(

The Great Getaway

It feels like a pre-kiddie mini break . I really wanted to experience something new and exciting. The number of days I was in Allahabad ,I use to hang around like anything. Got some scream-buzzers , some harsh comments and strange pedestrians.

In Allahabad the best thing I liked was cheap transport. In just 20 bucks you can experience Tricycle Rickhaws. I even tried riding, was real tuff. And, tempos they are just too comfy and spacious.Rs2 per head. The reason ,I know about public transport coz I use to go out secretively with a younger cousin ,who studies in Boys High School, Allahabad.Ok, let me ramble on this.

Boys High School a.k.a B.H.S is a brand school out there. It got started in 1861 by a missionary.Its Brand Ambassadors are many but to name one is , Mr. Amitabh Bachann. This school is the only school which has got swimming pool , a huge playing ground and its located in the centre of the city .Boys out there are said to be something...! Will tell only, when asked;)

The other famous thing is Mayo Hall also known as Amitabh Bachann Sports Club.The Badminton court really excited me. It has a seperate court for every game.

The other place is Hanuman Mandir .You have to be careful about the timing.Otherwise, go round and round.

Anand Bhavan and Planetorium are just next-to-next.Anand Bhavan has remaining of Jawahar Lal Nehru. A good place. And, planetorium take you through stars and the same old thingie.Ye, you can surely catch some military hunks out there,only if you are lucky!

I did'nt really heard about night life in Allahabad but, Civil Lines is a happening place. You got Atlas Mall , inside you get the Retail Chain of Big Bazaar and Mc Donald.What really excited me here was Bunjee Jumping .Ye, Allahabadis do that, how kool is that! I also tried and was a greta fun.To bear, juntas reaction is hell. They are crazy!

The other market in the city are Chowk and Katra.

And, who can forget the banks of Ganges , out of this world.Will describe it in a seperate post.

Till then chao!